Testosterone & the Little Engine that Could

My truck needs new tires. I was supposed to get new tires 20,000 miles ago. I still have the same tires that my truck came with when I bought it, and that was 6 years ago.

The last trip, I was able to take my truck and although I was worried about the tires, I had a feeling it would make it. This time, I had a feeling it wouldn't make it, so I went with my gut. The night before this trip, Corona said that we could take her car. I had been on a missionary trip south of the border before-- she hadn't. I didn't tell her much about the rocky roads, or all the rough terrain we'd have to take her little midget car through, because, I mean, why have two of us worried, right? So I said, "you know what, we really don't have any other choice."

We took her little car (it's a tiny Scion). It fits 2 people comfortably, and 4 not so comfortably. We went up hills, through rocky highways, and then hills again-- and that little car just kept pushin'! It was a sight to see, really ;) In front of us was a V8 truck, behind us a van, and right smack in the middle was the little Scion.... infused with Jesus-petro!

We made it! Thank you Jesus.

I realized on this trip that I bond with kids. When we got to our first sight (we visited 3 places), I flocked to the little kids, and the little kids flocked to me. I love little kids, I don't think I'm nowhere near ready for any of my own, but I do love to hang out with them. I love to play-- I'm little and petite, and have no size or form to be an athlete-- and yet, if a kid has a soccerball I ask him to pass it. If a kid has a basketball, I'm gonna steal it from him. I will run around and I don't mind getting dirty or sweaty-- I will run around until my little chicken legs start to quiver from exhaustion! :D

I've been told that I bond well with boys. And my response is: yes, I do. They get me and I get them. I grew up with a brother most of my life. We watched WWF, and played Nintendo Super Mario Bro's. When we got tired, we'd go outside and I'd kick his butt in relay races, basketball, and hockey. He hated me. He hated being the kid on the block whose sister was better at sports than he was!... I bond well with boys because they like what I like.

I got my first barbie at 8 years old, and I had it out on a yard sale at age 9.

The only dress I remember wearing, as a young girl, is a first communion dress. Don't get me wrong, with time, I've learned to embrace the girl in me. I dig the pink, I can accesorize, I rock them heels from time to time.

But my essence has more testosterone than glitz. And I'm perfectly okay with that.

We visited a boys orphanage. It was the first time that I had visited one. When we got there, the housing director called all the little boys to line up, and they all started to come out and did as they were told. Their faces made me smile.

I guess what you'd expect to hear in a blog about visiting an orphanage was how sad it was, or how seeing those little boys broke my heart. But it wasn't sad, and I wasn't heart broken. Their faces made me smile. I wanted to play some ball, and that's what I did. I smiled, and played some ball.

I'm sure these kids have stories to tell. I'm sure they have horrific events embedded in their hearts and mind. I'm sure that their short lived lives don't do justice to the hard-adult moments they've had to endure.

Yes-- we can dwell on those facts. And we can cry and sob over their past. Or we can smile, hug, and play--

r i g h t n o w.

God put these boys in my path, right then and there. There's probably very little that I could say or do to obliterate their past, to erase the scars that they have in their hearts; only God can do that... I don't know what it's like to be left at an orphanage, to be left by my parents, to be beaten or abused... So really, if anything, they can probably teach me a thing or two, right?

But I do know how to love. And I know how to make others laugh, and I know how to play. So that's what I did. And through that, I asked God to give me grace and to help me use what I do know and what I do have to help create new memories in these kids lives.

"...But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead..." Phillipians 3:13

Let's concentrate on what is ahead. Let's concentrate on the now. Let's choose what we do know versus what we don't... Because there will be times when the past is going to be too rough-- times when there will be nothing we can do or say to help others with their painful past.

But we can strain toward what is ahead, we can smile, we can laugh, we can play some ball. And for that moment (no matter how small it may be), we can help them forget.